Ant Vs Grasshopper

A friend of mine sent me this piece to ponder!

An old parable retold:

The old version ....

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summerlong building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks that the ant is a fool. He laughs and dances and frolicking the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well-fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, he dies in the cold.

The modern (Indian) version...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool. He laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The world is stunned by the sharp & contrasting images. How can the poor grasshopper be allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's hill.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Kofi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven andEverlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout.Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a judicial enquiry. Mamta Banerjee goes on fast onto death of self or Grasshopper whichever is earlier.

The CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to grasshoppers on all Indian Railway trains, aptly named the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, a judicial committee drafts the "Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter.The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered in style by NDTV.Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice".

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden'.

Kofi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

US & UK offer support to Governments' war on ento-hunger with free supplies of Ant-hrax powder!

Many years later...

The ant has migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley named "Triumph-Ant Technologies " , while hundreds of grasshoppers die of starvation and foot in mouth disease somewhere in India.

Moral of the story:
Who cares ? the grasshoppers are dead.

Creative Copy Rights

I have been coming across a this Hindi(?) pop song playing almost everywhere last week - malls, ringtones, lifts, you name the place. Although Hindi music is not my cup of tea, this song really caught my (ear's) attention. It had a nice bass , beat and melancholic tone to it and even though I couldn't follow the lyrics, I could make out some words like "yaar", "qurban", "ishq" from the song. Absolutely clueless, with this limited piece of knowledge , I put Google to the test of times, but to no avail. Search engines have to be given something to search for , some keywords like artist, film name or song title....bummer!

With some help from a music shanty in nearby market, I deciphered the song title as "Ya Ali" after trying out "Yaara dil", "Yaara ve", "Mera dil" (all of which are also supposedly in the currency) and that was enough for me to google it. My research findings were quite appalling:

1. This song was from a Bollywood movie Gangster(2006) which is apparently a hit movie. The song is also apparently a hit song

2.The song "Ya Ali" has been sung by Zubeein, a Bangladeshi debutante to bollywood and written by some unknown lyricists.

3. The music is copied entirely from the original arabic song " Ya Ghali" by Guitara, who by the way, has fabulously rendered the piece with her lilting and contemporary voice.

4. This is not the first "copied" song making it big in the Bollywood chartbusters. Apparently songs of the arabic king of pop Amr Diab have been regular targets in most of Mahesh Bhatt's movies ( sample the hit song "Kaho na kaho" from Murder(2005) ripped off straight from Amr diab's "Tamaly Maa'k")

5. Blogs abound with disgust over the amount of plagiarism in Bollywood, especially from arabic /spanish music. Most of the bloggers only wished that atleast due recognition in the form of "credit" was given to the original artist. Nevertheless, there was unanimity on the fact that Indians did a great job in copying songs and blending the same with excellent hindi lyrics! You can't simply pass off arabic imports in the indipop scene without good beat or lyrics.

Looks like the usual haven for Indian plagiarists - Western & Disco Music is now nome more in demand. Arabic, Spanish, Sufi music with techno blend seem to be ruling the roosts for now. Not far from now Shakira & Amr Diab could be doing a romanic dance number for the upcoming " Copy Cats"!!!!

Pizza vs.Police????

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."....Jeff Marder.

Is it not true? Just the other day I ordered for a pizza from a prominent pizza shop and I was told that the same would arrive at my doorstep within 30 minutes ,else, I could have it free. In Mumbai, time flies like arrow while traffic moves like snail. Which is why these delivery guys whiz past you in their customized sleek pizza-mopeds even in the most heavily conjusted roads ! They are forced to ride fast to meet impsossible deadlines or face pay cut on account of customer discount!. Not surprising that their antics feature as one of the prime causes of road accidents in the city.

Even my neighborhood Kiranawala for years offers free home dalivry (sic) but without any guarantee on time. So why these ubiquitous Pizza experts offer such instant deliveries? Is it driven by competition or social service? One such company, a prominent one, has even named its call centre number as "Hunger - Helpline". If only we had more of such helplines across in drought ridden states of India, our hunger problem could be instantly solved, thanks to modern capitalism!

Even the cops don't reach the spot before a good 45 minutes ( except, maybe on celluloid). In fact during Summer vacation our local police issues notices to societies to keep vigil on the neighborhood / appoint private security to prevent burglaries because they are unable to attend to so many calls. So when in emergency, you can always trust your pizza guy to attend on you within 30 minutes and all that he may expect from you is a tip in the hand and a pat on the back !!!!

Reverse Democracy!

The Prime Minister gave a keynote address at a meeting of the National Development Council in New Delhi on Saturday. It was rare occasion where he made some controversial statements (instead of his usual verbose, vague and threadbare commentary on developmental economics) thereby fuelling widespread and acerbic attacks from the opposition on the substance of the speech. Various leaders from BJP have assailed his speech on the ground that his statement on plans for minorities reeked of "communalism" and gave "undue benefits to minorities". Some have even termed it "gross violation of Constitution"

The controversial lines from the speech are reproduced below:

'I believe our collective priorities are clear: agriculture, irrigation and water resources, health, education, critical investment in rural infrastructure, and the essential public investment needs of general infrastructure, along with programmes for the upliftment of SC/STs -, Other Backward Classes -, minorities and women and children.

'The component plans for scheduled castes and scheduled tribes will need to be revitalized. We will have to devise innovative plans to ensure that minorities, particularly the Muslim minority, are empowered to share equitably in the fruits of development. They must have the first claim on resources. The centre has a myriad other responsibilities whose demands will have to be fitted within the over-all resource availability.'

The bone of contention is in the emboldened letters. It is very difficult to comprehend what the PM intends to convey through these paradoxical statements. It is obvious that no person, whether a majority or a minority community member can share the fruits of economic development "equitably" and "lay first claim on the resources" at the same time!

It is quite understandable that the speech was carefully constructed to meet political ends but was sadly not as discreetly executed! The fact that our PM is not a established "politician" only adds to the woe.

We pride ourself on our strong foundation of democracy. The rule of majority comes with a responsibility to protect the interests of minority. But only in this glorious country we see that a few so called torch bearers of minority communities hold the country's economy at ransom with the politicians dancing to their tune. 5 decades after independence we have no clear statistical data on the minority population in the country. It is not far when a "brahmin" or "jain" will plead for minority status going by sheer percentage of population!

Years of reservation have yeielded no visible results in terms of improvement in literacy or standard of living as the benefit of such regressive policies have been taken by the same families, which are now referred as creamy layer. For that matter the "trickle down" effect of social/human resources expenditure have never reached the desired sector - the poor /farmer! Poverty, Bondage and agriculture have no religion. Child labour and Female infanticide have no religion and so does Battery of women.

Eradication of these social evils do not require any communalistic approach to policies. It needs a total relook at our existing systems with will and committment from politicians & bureaucrats to work for something other than votebanks or bank balances! In fact, every developmental policy must define the target audience in terms of economic background/ age/gender/occupation.

It is quite possible that in a few years from now we will be a democracy only on paper.The creamy layer will be the "Mafia" controlling politics, power & people and the country will be suffering from a state of reverse democracy!

Overwhelmed!

Despite belonging to one of the *conservative* *relegious* and *multi-theistical* tamil communities from down south, I never had the urge to go to temples. I only occasionally "accompanied" a family member or a freind to a nearby temple. But THIS was different..

We had planned this 3 day trip to Panchgani & Mahabaleshwar. Travel bug had never bit me so far, but a 5 day free luxorious bunglow with backyard, garden & cook at your disposal was too hard to resist" . A good colleague of mine suggested that I take the long way down via Pune ( yeah! Brangelina city of India!) to stop over at the Balaji temple at Ketkewale, around 40 Kms South of Pune in NH4. This temple is supposedly the largest replica of the real Tiupati Trimala Balaji Temple with extremely beatifully decorated, sculpted & well maintained premises. As I casually mentioned this fact to my family, they were pretty sceptical of its likeness to the Tirupati devasthan but probably agreed to visit the temple out of sheer curiosity.

We left Mumbai at 6.00 am and reached the temple at 10.15 am. On seeing the the poor & stony approach road to the temple, my mother who has walking difficulties, preferred to stay back in the vehicle we had hired for the trip ( although with great hesitation) . But the temple officials were very quick to send over a very new & sturdy wheelchair for her and even offered to wheel her for the darshan. We were thoroughly overwhelmed by their gesture and happily rolled her into the temple preemises . All the guards within the complex were kind enough to let us jump the long queue of weary & restless devotees and even the devotees paved the way without a grimace.

All of us had a fleeting but satiating darshan of the almighty. As we proceeded towards the exit, each devotee was not only offered a very big laddu as prasadam, but also a coupon for "bhojana" . The temple official was politely requesting them to avail the "Bhojan" at the adjoining building as he was handing over the tokens to the tired devotees coming from far & away. At the Bhojanalay, the hot food was served by the staff with great hygiene. The place was well maintained & clean with excellent seating arrangement for all the devotees. One could see devotees from all statas of the society seated next to each other enjoying the divine serving !

What moved me was the kindness & courtesy all the officials and guards displayed during such delicate situations. One can probably never witenss such grace towards senior & incapacitated citizens in any other place of worship. To me its was not a temple of lord Balaji, it was a temple of love & kindness and devotion to humanity, which is the need of the hour for the world we live in!

Customer care has always been problem issue for Indian enterprises. Probably they could learn a thing or two from the temple management!!!

Govinda! Govinda!!!

End of Sadma

After 3 years of trial, the verdict is finally out. Former Iraqi despot Saddam Hussein was sentenced to death by hanging today for his role in the killing of 148 Shiite Muslims in the northern Iraqi village of Dujail following an attempt on his life there in 1982, which was in the backdrop of Iran-Iraq war of the 1980s The Iraqi criminal court sentenced him for " crimes against humanity", along with his half brother. The verdicthas sparked off protests in Sunni dominated areas while there were reports of celebrations in Shia majority parts.

While most of the modern world has hailed this as a victory of democracy over crazy despotism that Iraq has suffered for decades, New Delhi has surprisingly maintained cautioned silence over the verdict. Traditionally , a lot of Muslim bureacrats, diplomats & politicians have been serving our Foreign /External affairs Ministry & Offices. Hence a division of opinion in the ranks cutting across Shia-Sunni sects may not be quite unexpected.

Former diplomat M. Hamid Ansari, has been quoted saying 'judicial process under which Hussein was tried is widely considered to be faulty and, therefore, the verdict is also faulty'. In fact, the Communist Party of India-Marxist (CPI-M) Sunday denounced the death sentence against Hussein, terming it a 'rigged verdict' .

One thing is for sure, Mr Bush cannot bank on this judicial verdict to uplifthis Republican Party from the almost certain loss in the forthcoming election for Senate & HoR!

JAY ki JAI Ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If it looks like I am spending less and lesser amount of time in blogosphere, blame HIM..
He got me addicted, and then I was free of this affliction when he got off air for quite a long while ( say 4 years) and now he's back!!!!

There is nothing like watching the daily dose of "almost live" telecast of Jay's jabbing at all of the World's top political/entertainment stars , in his own inimitable style.

I always loved Jaywalking, Allstars, Iron Jay and Headlines.

Hoping for more of his wisecracks & snubs!!!!!!!!!

I am from freakistan!!!!!!!

Yeah Im back alright, but not with a bang though. What Ive been thru for the past two weeks will top the list of freakweeks one has ever had.

Freaked out on:

(1) a lot of B-grade hoolywood flicks on DVDs
( Trial & Error, Company man, Good Advice, You can count on me, Terms of Endearment,Where the truth lies..and they ALL suck in reverse order)

(2) on Lage Raho Munna Bhai... due to excess hype from press & public ( i reserve my comments on this movie plz)

(3) on bad Italian food at Trattoria ( supposed no.1 italian food place in Mumbai) This five star hotel actually served stale pizza crust, stale stuffing and odd as it may seem, the awfully low quantity they served was actually a "saving grace"!!! We actually had to satiate our unfilled bowels with a grilled "sendwitch" and "coketel" from a famous roadside gem of an eatery in the queen's necklace!! Lesson learned: Suburbans should stick to the ubiqutous dominos & pizza huts rather than travelling 25 Kms in search of the perfect pizza fiasco in a Five star plaza.

(4) on Navratri festivities in office, which meant a lot of sweetmeats, colorcodes & time outs!

(5) on my newly acquired vaccum cleanner ( I did!), sucking the hell out of the house!


Amidst all these, I totally lost track of my daily bread..blogging & strumming!
Back in business now. I need no sympathy!

Quest for the ultimate Dustbuster

I have to get this out of my system.

Let me first give you the low down here.

For the past 5 months, I’ve been desperately looking to buy a replacement for my broken vacuum cleaner(VC).I am now in a miserable predicament. On one hand, I have to do all the dusting employing my own (wo)manual labour and two, I am allergic to dust, not to mention brooms, mops and other cleaning widgets. And having your decrepit house in one of the most polluted suburbs and adjacent to a mud slinging play-ground doesn’t really help.

My VC hunting began with quite a fanfare: comparing models/brand on the net, visiting all the electronic havens and malls in the neighborhood, etc. Almost every gadget-mall had its USP, no, not Selling Proposition but "Special Price" on the items. But what left me cold was despite having mammoth shop space, these so called malls had not even a little room to accomodate, say atleast 2 brands of VCs on the shelf. Most of the shops had only one brand, the prominent Indian brand, carrying Archimedes’ legacy. So much for patriotism. Of course with more& more people (read parvenu) going for LCDs, Microwaves, ACs & Dishwashers, a VC for a measly 3000 Rs may not command any shop space or retail margin.

While my broken VC was made by an reputed Indian Electronics giant, once mostly patronized by people Below Poverty Line, I looked out for more recent entrants in this segment, like the ones which promise to make your Life Good and all. And of course there is the world leader, in the name of an Ex-president of USA. There are several other third rate brands, that you can buy off the TV, use for dusting and throw into the dustbin the third day.

Basically, I looked for a VC fitting into these mimimal specs:
1. Weight – less than 5 kg
2. Suction cum Blower function (with variable-power option)
3. Wattage- 1000 or less
4. Cord -Atleast 5 Mtrs
5. Dust Bag- Permanent, washable and atleast of 3 Ltrs capacity
6. Three pin plug for safety
7. Cost upto Rs 4,000

Innocuous it may seem, but none of the VCs that are currently in the market conform to these. Then I went into research mode & checked out the sites of the three major brands I have alluded to in earlier:

The current models from the land of Taekwondo have no Blower function. I did have an old pamphlet from a shopping exhibition mentioning of a model containing all the specs I wanted. None of the local showrooms had it. When asked , the local sales manager replied that model has since been discontinued (for some Godonlyknowsit reason). He went on and segued into pitching for models from rival brand that I should go for. Some mole he was !

The lone Indian Company spearheading cleanliness revolution in homes & drinking water surprisingly has no model with a 3 pin plug and weighing less than 6 Kg with the above features. What kind of heavy machinery operates in 2 pin? I don’t want to get electrocuted and I surely I don‘t come with a warranty card!

Utterly disappointed, I came crawling back to my old VC maker and was pleasantly surprised to find 2 new models on the site , which even facilitated online purchase. Alas, the site was “outdated’ as confirmed by the local sales rep. It seems they no more manufactured/dealt with VCs as they went for greener pastures and they have a new site in place, only that the old site was not yet taken off the web. How Generous! Good ploy to snatch credit card payments online from unsuspecting customers and pay for court battles between the Corporate patriarch & his Son-in law. Bravo!

Moral of the story:
MNCs companies dump their outdated technologies on the Indian populace. Indian companies have the best technologies but don’t know how to market it to the populace!

I don't believe in employing labour for domestic service. Here I am with no vacuum cleaner in hand, and only my bare hands to bust the dust. I think I may have to carry on this till I bite the dust. Thank you for listening!

P.s: I hate mud slinging as it's me who has to do the clean-up. So I have intentionally kept away from mentioning brand/Company names and leave the guessing to your imagination!!!

Movies, more movies!!

Im taking a long overdue vacation right now and as usual I'm catching up on lot of movies I wanted to watch for a long time. Here are some of them with my * ratings.

Recent Flicks:
1. Just my Luck:**1/2( Lindsay Lohan as banal as ever)
2. Sentinel: *** ( Thumbs up to Kiefer)
3. Matador:***1/2 ( Pierce Brosnan has tried really hard to shed his Bond image)
4. Dukes of Hazzard: :()-----(pukes)
5. RV: ** ( Robin williams is a sorry state of affairs)
6. Rumor Has it: * ( Kevin Costner has lost it)

Not so recent flicks:
1. Libertine: Sorry, I could not rate it as I failed to get past first 20 mins, But I can sure make it out to be any average Johnny Depp movie, with less of bloody disembowelment scenes and more of venereal/nudity.
2. Kate & Leopold: ***1/2 .please watch it if you like to watch verbal confrontations between victorian english and american slang ( Hugh Jackman vs others)
3.Corky Romano: **, but, Chris Kattan is cut out for such movies.
4.A Bronx Tale:* Frankly speaking,I've been wanting to lay my hand on this DVD for a long time.. one due to my mad passion for mafia movies in general, and two.. watching the dealy duo-Robert De Nero & Chazz Palminteri in action. The lonestar I've given goes to Chazz. Hope that sums it all up as far as this movie is concerned:(


Sure it doesnt look like a perfect vacation..but there are more movies to come. So, I keep my fingers crossed !X!
(Frankie Four Fingers)

Of schizophrenics, shrinks & celluloid!

More and more people I know refer to Hallucinations, Schizophrenia and Multiple Personality Disorder(MPD) to some phenomena as trivial as common cold. I also get a feeling that many of my near & dear ones suffer from it( I have to talk to my therapist on that one!). Off late, all the filmwoods -(B)(K)(H)ollywood have been churning out movies with the same protagonist potraying both Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde ( I wonder if he ever gets double the pay package?)

Some MPD Hollywood movies I watched include, Hide & Seek(2005), Me Myself & Irene and Batman forever while in Hindi I am told Aparichit(2006), Dewangee(2004) head the list. Now when I come to think of it, Mr AB might have pioneered pseudo-MPD roles in Shahenshah!

The point is, potrayal of mental disorders is now the newest, experimental , bold and one of the *different* roles that every actor wants to attempt or every director wants to depict. Diseases hitherto unheard of by the common movie watching rif-raff are being brought into celluloid and the common vocabulary..MPD, Alzheimer's disease, Short term memory loss, spastics, etc.

Critics are ever tired of pointing out the cavalier manner in which medical ailments are dealt with in Mainstream Hindi cinema. Suddenly, Hindi film directors are dealing with serious ailments and dealing with them seriously!. Gone, are those days when a heroine lost and regained her sight within 13 reels, or a disease as serious as cancer was detected by looking at an X-Ray. In an industry where heroes are mostly immortal and are occasionally even known to return from the dead films are now dealing with delicate medical issues with much more maturity and seriouosness.

In a lighter vein:

1) A guy walks into the psychiatrist's and says "Doctor, doctor, you've got tohelp me! I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!" The shrink says "Sit over there and I'll deal with you later."

2)"I'm treating a patient with a split personality," boasted a psychiatrist, "and Medicare pays for both of them!"

3)Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin.Psychiatrist: Don't talk such rubbish.

4)Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a curtain.Psychiatrist: Pull yourself together!

5)Two psychiatrists meet on the street. One says to the other,"You know, I thought I'd been completely analyzed, but yesterdayI experienced the most remarkable Freudian Slip."The friend nods and waits to hear more...The first psychiatrist continues, "I was having dinner with mymother, and I meant to say, 'Please pass the butter', but insteadI said, 'You miserable bitch, you've ruined my life!!!".

6)Patient: Doctor, I can't stop stealing things.Psychiatrist: Take these pills. They should help you.Patient: But what if they don't?Psychiatrist: Pick up a Rolls for me.

7)A man who thought he was John the Baptist was disturbing the neighborhood, sofor public safety, he was committed. He was put in a room with another crazyand immediately began his routine, "I am John The Baptist! Jesus Christ hassent me!" The other guy looks at him and declares, "I did *not*!"

8)What is the best thing about schizophrenia?You're never alone.

9)A man calls the psychiatrist at a mental hospital and asks who's in room 24."Nobody" comes the reply."Good" says the man, "I must have escaped."

10)What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist?If you say to a psychiatrist "I hate my mother", the shrink will ask "Why doyou say that?" while a psychologist will say "Thank you for sharing that with us."

--

Ok, gotta go!!

Me too!

Thr Lord of the Masses

Ganpati Bappa, Moorya!!


Some other facts:

1)Public festival:
In the good old days Ganesh festival was a purely family affair. Ganesh Utsav in Mumbai, as envisioned by Tilak actually intended to use the famed "Ganpati" as a relegious icon as a cover for political activity.Tilak did this so as to cleverly broadcast his political message of freedom for India.

2)Gifting:
Thru time, "gifting" have undergone many changes in these years..

-from jewellery to " diamond studded jewellery"
-from books to "autographed /special edition" books
-from antiques to "antique holder"
-from show pieces to "feng-shui"items

However, Ganesha idols have remained to be a favourite gifting product with people, individuals as well as corporate and across communities. Itis said that the joy of gifting a Ganesha is immense because when you gift a Ganesha idol, you gift good wishes and good fortune along with it.

3) Immersion:

Ganesh Visarjan - the relegious ceremony of immersion of the idol in waterbodies on the concluding day (Anant charturdhashi) of the 10 day function is as popular and auspicious as the "chaturthi" itself. It is also one of the largest televised event in the commercial capital of India. It is believed that the wishes made on this occasion are happily granted by the satiated elephant god! As legend goes, "Ganesha" is considered to be the god of wisdom, prudence, prosperity, and most importantly "Vighna harta"(remover of obstacles). Hence, there are plenty of wishes the vast humanity can seek out for , specially, the traumatised and terror stricken Mumbaikars.

4) Darshan galore:

Mumbai will be buzzing throughout these 10 ddays of celebration, withh business picking up during day & night!. Already known as th ecity that never sleeps, on these days in particular, shops are known to remain open even till 5.30 am to capture the devotees travelling across the city for "darshan". It is widely believed that more the number of idols one takes darshan, more shall be resultant blessings/good luck. Lalbaug ka Raja has been the undesputed crowd puller for decades ow. Special city bus & local train services facilitate this local pilgrimage.

5)Ashtavinayak:

There are 8 idols of Lord Ganesh, which are famous by the name of Vinayak, and they are known as ‘Ashta Vinayak’. All the 8 idols of Lord Ganesha are Swayambhu(evolved by themselves):

1. Vakratunda ( Chintamani)
2. Mahodara (Varadvinayak)
3. Lambodara(Baleshwar)
4. Vignaraj(Vigneshwar)
5. Ekdanta(Siddhivinayak)
6. Gajanana(Mahaganapati)
7. VikataGanapati(Mayureshwar)
8. Dhoomravarna(Girijatmaja)

ICC or I Can't See??

I am not an avid cricket fan, but, watching the events develop the last few days, I cannot but write a few thoughts on the ball tampering issue currently plaguing Pakistan.

Why do Asian Cricket teams always get a raw deal from the ICC? , as if it is not enough that these teams have to cope up with internal problems with their Boards, Govt & Tax authoriries.

The entire cricketing fraternity is up in arms against the text book(read deaf & dumb) approach of the ICC over the ball tampering charge & penalty runs levied by the two culprit umpires - Mr Darryl Hair(the prime accused) and Mr BillyDoctrove(the confederate) on the fourth and almost decisive day of Test match between Pakistan& England at Oval. Pakistan's refusal to take the field after tea has got ICC slamming them for *bringing disrepute to the game*. Pakistan's dislike for the controversial Mr Darryl Hair is well known to the whole world and the ICC. Despite this, ICC has *specially* taken upon itself to appoint him as one of the umpires in all the matches involving Pakistan. Should we call it ill-conceived or well-contrived?

It is accepted that teams should not be allowed to influence the choice of umpires, but they must definitely be given a fair say in putting some *esteemed* ones on a negative list, going by thier*past credentials*. If such a list was permitted, Mr Hair would undoubtedly top Pakistan's list while Mr. Steve Bucknor would top team India's black listof umpires. If Mr Hair's past decade of hair-raising umpiring decisions is anything to go by, he should have long been delisted not only from Elite panel but permanently from Umpiring profession itself. How he was reinstated into the Elite group is still a mystery.Could it be Australia's arm twisting or Pakistani's misuse of arm..

Nevertheless, the investigation on the ball tampering issue should concentrate on visual evidence more than anything else to nail the real culprit. The entire career of key players and the pride of the nation are at stake here. In the absence of substantial evidence, Mr Hair & Doctrove shold be given the pink slips for bringing *bringing disrepute to the game*, with appropriate penalty, and prison term!

You may want to Read this.

Sweet Child 'O Mine

October 10, 2006 shall be a Landmark day for the Indian child. Although there are no official estimates on child labor employed in India, it is believed that over 10 Cr of our little citizens are employed as labour almost everywhere..From hazardous industries, kirana shops to domestic servants, in appalling, exploitive and even inhuman conditions.

Atlast, our government seems to have finally woken up from its deep slumber for last 20 years, since the enactment of the toothless piece of law: Child Labour (Prohibition & Regulation) Act, 1986. In a fresh and determined bid to stamp down the growing exploitation of children, the government has now prohibited their employment as servants at home or in businesses.

"Business" shall include factories, shops, dhabas, restaurants, hotels, teashops,resorts and spas. According to a notification issued by the labour ministry last tuesday, the ban comes into effect from October 10, 2006.The Union labour ministry has warned that anyone employing children below 14 years of age would be liable for prosecution and penal action under the Child Labour (Prohibition & Regulation) Act, 1986. Labour inspectors have been empowered to check on violation of this ban. While this is just the beginning, the crackdown could soon extend to several other sectors employing child labor.

May be Iam brutally candid but I am deeply pained that many of my friends and colleagues have employed children in domestic service, sometimes to babysit their own little ones. They've got good reasons though:

1) They actually plead they are improving the standard of living of the the poor boy/girl (by sending their parents the money, who might blow it off on having more children ?)
2) They claim they treat the child well ( right!, but will send the right back to thier village the moment he/she falls sick)
3) They claim they try & educate the child at home ( if only they had so much time, then why employ a domestic servant!)

Its high time they cleared up these misconceptions from thier inncocent minds.

It is not uncommon to see paper*boys*, chai*boys*, kirana delivery*boys* at your doorstep. The plight of girls is still worse..construction sites, domestic work, hazardous factories. We educated people fail to realise that by employing child labour, we are not economically uplifting them or their families, but we are actually denying their right to childhood, education and opportunities, that we were fortunate enough to enjoy.

It is the sole duty of the State and NGOs to rescue and rehabilitate these deprived children. We should not take advantage of their economic / social background to enrich our materisliatic goals, with the excuse of "helping a poor child". A socially concerned person would rather adopt the same child , instead of seeking a quid pro quo in the form of exploitive labour. In fact the movie "Baagbaan" showcased this noble act when the iconic AB adopts Salman Khan as a child, despite having 4 kids of his own.

So lets take this pledge the August occasion of our Independence day, to liberate our society from this evil:

1. I shall not employ and support any form of exploitation of children including child labour.

2. I shall report immediately any form of violation of child rights to the authorities/NGOs.

3. I shall do my best to educate others on the imporatance of child rights and ills of child labour.

P.s:

Child Employers beware: Big brother may be watching you!!

Don't cha

No, I'm not referring to that provocative hit single by the Pussycat Dolls. I'm talking about addiction to Cha (Marathi for Tea or Chai).It is quite common to see tired/weary employees gulping down several ounces of this beverage every hour, almost unwittingly and as much unavoidably! As the the canteenboy nonchalantly places his overboiled concoction of sugar & milk on the table, the same vanishes into the alimentary canal in no time! Some of them would'nt even mind drinking the very concotion hours after its served. And then there are tea-conservatives like me who are always at the receiving end .

How?.. You cannot even politely refuse the "tea" offered by your boss b'coz :

a) it might tantamount to gross insubordination, or

b) you might end up getting a big lesson of goodness of tea(and specially black tea) or

c) worse, you might be perceived as a high-maintenance natural juice drinker or a latte drinker!

Many of my friends/colleagues who I presume are tea addicts, can hardly keep count of their comsumption at work. They might pass it off us "2-3 cups a day", while it might actually be 7-8 (including, with chitchat friends, boss, lunchhour etc).

Well, I ve got some news for the habituated tea addict:

Tea connoisseurs say that-

1) Drinking tea should be a soothing and pleasurable experience and not a hurried one (which is very unlike what you notice in the office, where people drink it to get rid of headaches)

2) Tea should be savoured and not gulped down

3) Vital Statistics:3gms of tea for 150ml of water,brew for 3-4 mins normally, while you can brew herbal tea for 7-8 mins.

4) Never add milk to green tea

Food addiction is perhaps one of the commonest reasons why so many people are overweight and yet, don't seem to realise it. That's because they never stop to think before gobbling up everything in sight - whether they are really hungry/thirsty or not. It's more greed than hunger.

So, to all ye concerned, instead of giving me lectures of "revitalising my cells", why not take some therapy for your good self????????????

Floods of Alert

US has warned *code red* for all its nationals in Mumbai & Delhi, suspecting possible AQ plots in the run-up to the I_day.

The US Embassy said the attacks could possibly occur from Friday till August 16 and the likely targets are airports, vital government installations and crowded places. ( Which part of Mumbai is not crowded? colleges?)

As if the never-ending rains are not enough, we have another threat to keep us indoors. Every alternate day Mr Johnny Joseph's flood alerts clog our sms memory. That does'nt stop the riff raff from going on with their chores.

While the Govt. has officially shrugged off these “very innocuous” advisory issued by the US embassyto its people ,the Centre has actually gone ahead and directed the states to issue advisories/instructions to the general public to verify the antecedents of tenants and buyers of vehicles, an official spokesperson of the Union home ministry said. Meanwhile, a contingent of 38 NSG personnel has been deployed at the Indira Gandhi Centre for Atomic Research at Kalpakkam, near Chennai, following reports that major installations could be targeted by terrorists. Union home secretary has directed various states to sensitise the public and take all necessary precautions.

Desperate measures or innocuous advisory?

You be the judge, while I try to find an open space to hide myself(irony intended)

Killing Time

As Mumbai has been reeling under heavy rains for the pastweek, Movie buffs like me could not venture out to the bigscreens. So I rented some stuff from my freindly neighbourly DVD rental just to kill time..and guess what!, I actually KILLED it!

Take a look:

1. Last Days ( 2005,Kurt Cobain biopic)..Hawrible..I should have been dead instead of KC
2.Yours Mine & Ours(2005).......................I Threw up..Whatever happened to Mr Bowen (Dennis Quaid) from Dragonheart(1996)
3.Monster in law(2005)..............................J Lo can never make it into mainstream Hollywood with her nasal voice. Michael vartan had better stuck on to "Alias"
4.The Man (2005).......................... was So So, but Sammy Jackson- Cussing = Boring
5. Date movie(2006)..................The regular spoof movie taking digs at all the big un's..Meet the parents , Meet the Fockers, LOTR, When Harry met Sally, Shallow Hal, King Kong, Wedding Planner.. It was like watching "Scary Movie 4" sans the grossness, but still was one of the worst parodies Ive come across..

So there goes my horrible week that was. After watching a fiasco of a movie in POTC-2 on big screen, I am afraid to hitthe theaters. So I returned my good old DVD collection, some of which I watched for the n+1th time:

Golden Eye
National Treasure
LOTR-FOTR
Don't Say a Word
Flight plan

P.S. Little one's would know the connection between these..but don't say a word.

HOME A- LOAN.

Despite the recent hikes in home loan interest rates announced by the major banks, there seems to be no letdown in the rate of *interest* in the property market.

India's largest housing finance company HDFC, Punjab National Bank and the Oriental Bank of Commerce have hiked interest rates on home loans by at least half a percentage point (0.5%) on August 1, while others like the SBI and Bank of Baroda are soon expected to follow suit. As it stands, the floating rate for home loans from HDFC will be 9.5% as againstm, up from the previous 9%. The fixed rate loan borrowers will now have to shell out as high as 11%p.a. Despite FinMin's friendly advice (read dictum) to PSU Banks to rollback the hikes, there is no looking back, it seems.

Traditionally interest rates tend to take the cue from RBI's repo & reverse repo rate, which incidentally, were raised twice consecutively to over 50 basis points. Home loan rates have gradually risen over the past year or so from 8% to 11% and guess what, no one seems to really bother. Mumbai's bustling property market is currently on a sky-high, thriving on stock market boom fuelled by economic uptrend in general and IT /BPO boom in specific. Everybody seems to carry around enough cash to crash-purchase houses. Even the once abandoned properties such as " jinxed houses" or " haunted buildings" are up for the grabs.

It is only the fixed income/salary earners like me whose dream of buying a dream home might still only remain a dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I can only console myself .." Home is where the heart is"...

Trivia about Muh

Blame HET for this!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Uma!

1. Uma has little need for water and is capable of going for months without drinking at all!
2. Uma can sleep with one eye open!
3. Uma became extinct in England in 1486.
4. Uma is the largest of Saturn's moons!
5. South Australia was the first place to allow uma to stand for parliament.
6. California is the biggest exporter of uma in the world!
7. Uma is the world's smallest mammal.
8. Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are uma!
9. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find uma.
10. Only one person in two billion will live to be uma.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Mole in the cheek!!, scar in the face!!

One has heard of Witchhunt and Manhunt..but now we have this intense "Mole- hunt". The fact that people,out of limelight (read power), facing severe identity crisis can write just about anything in a "memoir" , "autobiography" or "reflections" to grab eyeballs is proved by the Jaswant Singh's latest tactic.

In his book 'A Call to Honour: In Service of an Emergent India', Jaswant Singh has alleged that a mole in the PMO during the time of late prime minister P.V. Narasimha Rao had leaked nuclear secrets to the US. This might definitely do some pre-release publicity for his book, but the same cannot be said for BJP!

His colleague Mr Das Munshi was at his wit's best: "We could have helped him find buyers and even honked to secure buyers for his book," he said, adding "it is a book-selling campaign unparalleled in history."

While Jassu still claims: "I have never used the word 'mole,' even in the book. However, it generated so much excitement and the prime minister charged me with lacking in decency..."

While BJP's already squirming over turmole caused by the deepening embarrasment, Jaswant Singh's claim that he was still waiting, apparently with little success, for a "call" from the PM to discuss the matter did not cut much ice either.

BJP is busy digging a hole to bury the mole,while Congress's is on a roll taking a dig at BJP's role.

Is is what they call making a mountain out of a mole? Are'nt there enough issues of national interest to focus on?

PS. Taking a cue from Jassu, looks like our Ex-India Cricket Coach John Wright is trying to bring lots of " dressing room" scenes out of the closet in his memoir. Censor Board probably might give an A certificate ?

and

Why do all the memoirs have to always be so bitter?