Friday, December 29, 2006

Ant Vs Grasshopper

A friend of mine sent me this piece to ponder!

An old parable retold:

The old version ....

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summerlong building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks that the ant is a fool. He laughs and dances and frolicking the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well-fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, he dies in the cold.

The modern (Indian) version...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool. He laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The world is stunned by the sharp & contrasting images. How can the poor grasshopper be allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's hill.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Kofi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven andEverlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout.Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a judicial enquiry. Mamta Banerjee goes on fast onto death of self or Grasshopper whichever is earlier.

The CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to grasshoppers on all Indian Railway trains, aptly named the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, a judicial committee drafts the "Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter.The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered in style by NDTV.Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice".

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden'.

Kofi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

US & UK offer support to Governments' war on ento-hunger with free supplies of Ant-hrax powder!

Many years later...

The ant has migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley named "Triumph-Ant Technologies " , while hundreds of grasshoppers die of starvation and foot in mouth disease somewhere in India.

Moral of the story:
Who cares ? the grasshoppers are dead.


7 comments:

Santhosh said...

...While in the middle of all this confusion, nobody ever realized that ANT was born in a 'good' family, had opportunities to a 'good' ENGLISH medium school and attended 'Coaching' classes to join a prestigious engineering institution.

While the grasshopper (although accused of jumping around) never had been provided an opportunity to get a decent education, whose mother was beaten by his/her (not sure if grasshoppers have a male and female distinction) father, whose was a drunk.

So, the people supporting the grasshoppers never saw the problem, and rallied around for the grasshopper. Of course, the Ants never cared a damn, hey, they could always migrate to the U S of A.

Anonymous said...

The first thing in the morning(afternoon, for others) I did (have been doing ;-) )was to sit in front of my PC and take a look at it. I consider my day made. Esp loved the part about Arundhati Roy and Medha Patkar.

Do keep writing more like these, dearie.

Wonder if Santhosh was raised on a staple diet of media reports of many, many grass-hoppers.

Anonymous said...

Colonial cousins engaging in a verbal duel?

Arag

Anonymous said...

@ Arag:

My assumption that Santhosh knew how to read was proved wrong.

I am ofcourse, referring to this part of the post:

"The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool. He laughs and dances and plays the summer away."

I am no expert on microeconomics or whatever, but what relevance do "coaching classes" and "prestigious engineering institutions" have, in living by the motto "make hay while sun shines"? Beats me. Adapt yourselves to changes or die. ["Wait until the opportune moment" - Thus spake a noble Cap'n]

With comments like these, Santhosh is well on his way to become the next Miss. Universe.

Parag said...

In today's world the grasshoppers are hopping after being high on grass
While the ants are down and on ANT-ibiotics

Negative Creep said...

^^Rofl at parag and the post.

Grass rules. \m/

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