Wednesday Wash Out!!

Sights like these are not uncommon to Mumbaikars, specially after 26-7 deluge of last year. Since last evening Mumbai is under a cloud ...experiencing its first monsoon showers of the season ( or was it premonsoon?)which was actually scheduled to hit us from June 1, as per the local weathermen ( like we believed them).

While Mumbaikars always rejoiced the first showers, it did'nt appear to bring any such feeling this time around, what with just 2 hours of rain, all the main roads, junctions & subways were under several feet of water! It took over 2 hours for me to reach home from work today, for what is normally a Half hour travail. All this, on the first day of monsoon. Heavy rains Plus high tide always meant bad news for us.

While the BMC commisioner went on with is pre-monsoon manifestoes as usual..." We are 100% prepared" " All the drains have been desilted"...'All the roads have been repaired" blah blah .., it was the same old news for the average commuter..Our Police Commisioner went a step ahead, on the hitech mode, sending weather forecast sms to all the hassled denizens !Like they really care. Why ? Has he been given a lateral transfer to the MET Dept? Can't he send traffic updates instead? Bunch of Jokers everywhere.

It has been raining for the last 6 hours non-stop .So I turn on the TV to watch the news (hazy but audible s it happens during the rains) only to hear every reporter & commuter repeat my lamentations..

Dont want deluge, not even a de ja vu!

What 'ism" is this?

We want to liberalise Indian economy ...and globalise it, when we can't liberate the Indian psychology from this age old "ism" that has dogged our society for centuries and even governs our polity. What else should we call this threat of reservationism that portends nothing but doom to our quest for scientific & technological wizardry in the new world??

Why are medical students and resident doctors striking for days? Why should they bother when they have already got their seats? Why is every IITian joining hands with these protestors who call themself "Youth for equality"? It is because they care for the future of the country which they are going to represent in thier professional capacity.

Youth for Equality is an initiative by Medical and other professional students in India who feel strongly against populist measures which can be wrong, unjust and harmful for India's future.

Their plea for "implementing Universal Free education" and "concession/quota for the economically backward" have fallen on deaf ears of the politicians. Not surprising that most of the Medical/Engg/MBA colleges are run by politicians!

If the government wishes to allocate quotas based on one's caste certificate in speciality disciplines such as medicine and other advances sciences, will such a fact be in mentioned prominentlyin the degree certificate ? For , the prospective user of such services might demand a "right to information" and further the usage of caste in certificate!, which cannot be ruled out or ruled as wrong!!

Populist measures are always welcome, insofaras they don't harm the cultural ethos. Caste based reservation without addressing issues like child labour, free education upto highshool, malnutrition, is an utter FARCE and EYEWASH.

Even as the Hon Supreme Court ordered these protesters today to call off the strike or face contempt charges, the movement only seems to have gathered further momentum. These are testing times for the Indian youth. Every concerned citizen of this country should come forward and voice thier opinion for "Equality through education" and against "Lack of quality through reservation" .

The DVC-Why you should not drool over the movie?

If you have read the book and were awaiting the movie ...and watched it, you can't afford to simply drool over it, for:

1. If you were blown away by Paul Bettany's mindblowing potrayal of "Silas" you may be called a psychopath..

2.If you g0t carried away by the candid, simple & non-saucy performance by Tom Hanks, you'll be called a sycopant.

3.If you were impressed by Sir Ian Mckellen's excellent potrayal of the cagey villain, you will be told that you are suffering from a LOTR hangover..

4. If you felt Jean Reno was the right choice for Bezu Fache, you may be a called a Opus Dei sympathiser..

5.If you were mesmerised by the fantastic locations(real) and the eerie ecclesiastic backdrops, you might be even called a sciolistic artlover..

6. If you loved the movie, you will probably be branded as the anti-christ..

So I choose to keep my views to myself, in secrecy, lest I should be called any of the above. But ,I guess it has already been decoded !

Johnny Depp in "Aparichit"

I have been seeing the posters hangin over every wall, on every newpaper in the last few weeks for a Hindi movie called "Aparichit", with a man so closely resembling Johny Depp in Don Juan de Marco.

With JD's ever growing repertoire in weird movies, I thought I might have missed on his latest Indian venture.I was just telling my mom that the day is not far when JD will be a household name in India when she quipped: "He is no Johnny Vonny. You are looking at the southern star Vikram".


A little later I was enlightened that this movie is a Hindi Dubbed version of the original 2005 tamil Blockbuster "Aniyar"(Stranger). I have'nt seen either of them, but I hear its an action/social/drama/thriller about a man [Vikram] who plays the character of a man with MPD- Multiple Personality Disorder(4 disorders to be precise), and takes it on himself to cleanse the corrupt filth in the society ! Now who would'nt wanna play that?

Gone are the days when Bollywood movies used be remade or dubbed with Southern flavour!

p.s: I might have been wrong to liken Vikram to Johnny Depp, but I'm dead sure Johhny Depp would do a good job in a hindi movie, with/out a dub!

Madame Tussaud's in my Ear

Im dead right. If I was suffering from deafening pain in my aural appendage for the past month, it was not because of the high voltage noise from sloganeering medical students nor was it the blaring screams of Nirvana. I went to a ear-doctor ( not on strike) and he said I have nothing short of a wax museum in my right ear.

He asked me when was the last time I had wax removal , to which I said "Never". He made out that I havent flushed my ears for all my life. I had to apply some ear drops, smelling like pheneol 4 times a day (which means my collegues in office were not spared from its mordacious odour) for a week to grease the source and ease the pain! The flusing operation followed and succeded.

All's well that ends well.

Now I can certainly lend an ear to what you have to say!Eh?

Poll Pot Pourri

The votes are cast and so the exit polls are out. Seems like Amma's AIADMK +MDMK alliance is gonna take beating, black and blue.Times Now-Hansa Exit Poll has projected just about 81 of the 234 Assembly seats for the ruling alliance,while DMK+PMK+INC+Commies alliance is expected to get 150. BJP is once again conspicuous by a total no show. Also looks like captain Vijakanth might have to return to his career on the celluloid!

While exit polls have never been exact, one cannot deny the true "Dravidian" electoral voting tradition-"decisive" and "anti incumbency".

As far as TN is concerned, Dynasty politics shall soon take over the driver's seat, with able guidance from Centre!

Also heard that "Budhha is smiling" in Kolkata.

Random Sampling Theory

Random Sampling might work well for actuaries and statisticians but have always spelt doom for writers ( or copy writers shall we say?) . The Kaavya Viswanathan fiasco is a bright example of how plagiarism is viewed differently across faculties of art. Her claim to fame was thru her maiden book “How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life" has apparently borrowed lines from author Megan McCafferty and from some others whose work she was very fond of as a child!

The Music and Movie Industry has alwways been rife with affront as well as soft version of copies/samplings from here and there that are easily passed of as "Inspiration". However while the audience of such samplers enjoy the results of outright lifting, the same audience shuns and ridicules a possibly budding writer.

While I have never read Kaavya's “How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life", I have thought about writing " How Kaavya got Hitched, Sissed and Got no life", and I would not forget to print this warning on the cover: " Any Similarity in thoughts or words with any person/book would be purely unintentional or coincidental" in finer print and spare the rods!

Read This!

Pink Panther Review

Pink Panther (2006) definitely does not deserve a big screen dekko. However, Peter Sellers, the legendary "Inspector Jacques Clouseau" of Pink Panther comedies of yesteryears has passed on the mantle to an apt and deserving candidate in the comic master Steve Martin.



The plot is based on a prequel to the 1964 Blake Edwards' classic with Peter Sellers.

While virtually everbody imitates franglish accent exceptionally well, Steve Martin's was freaking funny an left you in utter splits. Steve might me trying hard to fill the huge paw prints but he is definitely following the foot steps.

Besides the usual slapstick comedy, watch out for the witty wisecracks from Inspector Clouseau. Dont miss the scene where Inspector Clouseau tries to pick up American accent for " I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger" from an accent expert.

Its a Kick Ice Movie !

Finally, I made it to the big screen to watch the spectacular animatronics(!) of the newly released ICE AGE -2 - The Meltdown . For one who was totally amazed by every bit of ICE AGE (2002), this sequel was long awaited but thoroughly satisfying.


While Manny (Ray Romano) , Sid( John Leguizamo) and Diego(Denis Leary) were back at their usual comical best, the inclusion of a new creature- possums- Crash & Eddie voiced by the whacky duo SeanWilliam Scott and Josh Peck was a real bonus. Ray Romano(of Everybody Loves Raymond fame), Denis Leary ( of I want my MTV fame) & SW Scott (known from American Pie & Dude Where's my car) displayed their pedigreed humour, in their distinct style. The comical confrontations and dialogues between these characters were very laughable!

Kudos to Queen Latifah for playing exceptionally well the mammoth who thinks its a possum! and as always the Scrat's antics left entire audience in splits.

I'm wishing for ICE AGE-3..The Blackhole! ( or whatever)

PS: 90% of the theatre audience was adults and 30+ ! Whoever said Indian audience craves for Hollywood ACTION movies..ICE AGE 2 really kicks ice!

Kurt , dead and in Top 3!

Its been more than a decade since the Grunge God closed his eyes for eternity, and truly! God has his mysterious ways . Even today his lyrics (or anthems as we call it) touch the heart of millions, is vouched by the recent VH1 poll for the "Favourite Lyric". What more, this is the verdict of 13000 music lovers from UK, the land which has offlate prided itself of producing some of their own newage/ pop/rock acts( Coldplay, Embrace, Arctic monkeys to name a few)

Nirvana's "Smells like Teen Spirit" ranks third in poll, after U2's "One" and The Smith's "How soon is now". The ever starving grunge fans like me were injected with a fleeting dose of happiness just to know that the world still remembers Kurt Cobain's anthem masterpiece, long after his demise.

Since the mid nineties, The Rock world has witnessed plenty of one-song wonders, and where, shelf life of a rockstar has reduced to his lowest, and also where the critics & fans have written off musicians overnight!

Amidst all these the Grunge God survives.. for his true followers, his cult, worship him relentlessly and will never lose sight of his words.

Of Rice Wars and Telly Sets!

The election fever is gripping every part of Tamilnadu and currently there is a head-on war of promises between the ruling AIADMK and their arch rival DMK. In the past, we have witnessed cold wars and cola wars but sample this:

The Democratic Progressive Alliance lead by DMK had announced the supply of rice for Rs 2/- kg, if voted to power. While the AIADMK initially quetioned the fiscal feasibility of this proposal, apparently bitten by the popularity of this scheme, has now pledged a much more cheaper package: Amma has promised to supply 10 kg rice for Rs 3.50 a kg and another 10 kg rice free thus offering rice for Rs 1.75 a kg. The opposition is now crying foul, alleging a violation of election code.

Earlier, in a truly one of its kind ways to woo the voters, the DMK pledged one colour Tv set in every household, " to provide a recreation and general knowlege mechanism for the tired farmer to relax after a hard day's work" and watch SUN TV, a network owned by the partymen who also own the majority of the cable networks that trasmit them. The Tv will definitely not provide this piece of knowlege though: that the Present Value of the future(& unending) inflows of cable rental is much more than the cost of an low end Akai or Aiwa 20'Inch CTV.

All in all, nobody cares about poverty, hunger, female infanticides or foeticides anymore...Its all about dominating airwaves, and capturing BPO marketshare! But one thing is for sure ..A poor ration card holder could have never had better!

Having Steamed rice while watching Sun TV at home ..shall no longer a dream be!

Had a Good Night , thanks to Good Luck!

So my movie watching binge continued but suddenly sprang a surprise for me yesternight in "Good night, and Good luck". Altlast, I can safely say that the horrible weekend blues from last Saturday that seemed neverending has positively ended!

David Straithairn gave a powerful, mindblowing and incisive potrayal of 'Edward Murrow", the renowed reporter(of CBS) of the 40s& 50s, who is supposed to have pioneered modern day broadcast jounalism, especially the coverage of wars and issues affecting American civil liberties. Excellent performances from the support cast backed by a powerful screenplay secured this movie 6 oscar nominations this year. I always liked Grant Heslov as an actor, ever since "Faisil" in TrueLies but now, his screenwriting skills are starting to grab serious attention. Probably that's why he has frequently collaborated George Clooney in his production ventures.

This movie is all about Murrow taking on Mccarthy,more like Man vs Mammoth. Murrow's investigative reporting exposes Senator Joe Mccarthy's undemocratic and often victimising tactics on the supposed "communist sympathisers " that directly lead to Senate hearings which caused McCarthy's censure.

This movie, entirely B&W, may not appeal to all english audiences but is a pleasant change from all the other Oscar nominations.

Indian broadcast media can learn a thing or two about responsible jounalism from this movie.

The nail in the coffin..for the worst weekend ever..

The weekend began with a horrible choice of movie for Friday night horror ..and then I had a gastronomist's nightmare in Saturday night feast from the east. Then came the last straw..watching the oscar winner "Capote"..on sunday to sum up my perfect weekend gone wrong.

When your beloved cousin and movie buff from far and away extols the performance of Philip Seymour Hoffman (the same guy whose performance in The Talented Mr Ripley(1999) raised eyebrows all around!) in her top ranked blog you simply dont want to be left behind. So here I was, in front of my TV eagerly awaiting "Sandra Bullock" on screen playing the famous Nelle Harper Lee, as the blog read.

You can forgive Capote's nasal alabama accent & forget Sandra Bullock ( for the role was played by Catherine Keener, Oscar nominated for the same ) , but simply can't follow why something like this was made into a movie when the subject matter of the movie - his book "In cold blood" was neither the first nor the best non-fiction that he ever wrote. It was only befitting that PS Hoffman played the gay, reclusive & eccentric Capote with that beautiful lisping voice of his! Not surprising he got nominated and rewarded with the Oscar, going by the kind odd & offbeat themes that draw attention these days!

My cousin is only thanking God that she is far & away......from me.

Help me! , Chan Hew !!

'Look Before you Leap'
..One should think carefully about the possible results or consequences before doing something.

Why not rephrase this famous idiom to guide the unguided epicureans and gastronomists like me, somewhat like this:

" Taste before you Waste", or maybe,
" Sip before you gulp"

A total vegetarian, who freaks out on pasta & cheese and hates anything with coconut, chilli, groundnut or garlic, should find absolutely no place in "THAI BAN"(even if half the place is empty on a weekend!)

Lessons learned:

1.Thai food is not for everyone.
2.Cocunut milk , garlic & crushed groundnut form the paste or gravy for almost all the thai recipes.
3. For something that looks like a liquefied version of our own desi "aviyal" you dont have to call it "Kaeng phak", pay through the nose and still end up hungry (and finally attain satiety within the 4 walls of your home, from the delicious food made by your own Thai (mother)!)
4.Thai food is not for everyone.

One bite and forever bitter!


P.S:
"Chan Hew" in Thai means " Im Hungry"

The History of Silence

This is what you will precisely learn after going through the pain of watching this latest offering from David Cronenberg, also known as the King of Venereal Horror. The History of Violence might not necessarily rank even a 5 on Mr Cronenberg's horror scale of 1 -10. Nevertheless, it manages to retire you into a state of eerie silence, as you wonder why you chose to spend your Saturday night amidst shotguns,smut and screams on the first place when anything else on earth would have proved better.

Well.. I had my own reasons! Its been long since the one and only Aragorn of the LOTR trilogy- Viggo Mortensen had played lead in any movie and I did not want to miss that. Secondly, a fellow aragorn-buff who also happened to be a good friend of mine until I watched this movie, suggested this as a psycho thriller. I was swayed by the above mentioned facts and in the process I totally forgot to read between the lines... "MPAA: Rated R for strong brutal violence, graphic sexuality, nudity, language and some drug use". For someone who cant tolerate a drop of fake blood on screen, this movie was like Munich & Basic instinct rolled into one. Definitely not my cup of tea. And as far as Viggo is concerned, he has made his statement clear.." He look!, I can fight the sword and pull the trigger with same ease" .

I'm not leading you thru the plot or the cast. Silence is golden.

Hey Aragorn..thanks!! but no thanks!!!

"The buck stops here"

Salman Khan saw that signboard and made a pittstop for the black buck during his hunting expedition in the pink city way back in 1998. Rajastan has always been a hunting ground for the tourists, not to mention celebrities from the world of cinema and sports. Tiger pataudi & his hunt club were also accused of killing a black buck in a "Wild Life Santuctuary last year, what with the carcass recovered from his Gypsy.

Sallu has always maintained his Bad Boy image outside the Film industry....Poaching, Hit & Run, Stalking ex-beaus, inebriated phone calls..

What suprised everyone was that the Court handed down one of the stiffest verdicts - RI for 5 years for poaching of protected species of animals, while still not convicted for the midnight manslaughter on wheels that he committed 4 years back. So while his loyalists and moviemakers (who have signed him and currently burning their fingers from both the ends) question the harshness of court's verdict, the common man knows his nemesis was long overdue!

Now out on a bail, he is supposed to have told the press that the prision conditions were awful and was no way like in the movies, this, after spending only 3 nights with royal treatment.Apparently, none of his family or friends ever told this enfantre terrible that real life killing leads you behind real life bars! Get out of the Dream World, boy!! and guide the next in line....

Lyrics that blow me away

I can't deny that I love every bit of Kurt Cobain's song writing. But , I also have a few of my personal favorites from
certain other rock / alternative bands.  Its generally the lyrics with melancholic imprints and that absorb me. Probably
the result of grunge excess, I try to extract grunge from other genres!

1.  " Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica
2.  " King of Pain" by Sting/Police
3.  " Like a stone"by Audio Slave
4.  " Reason" by Hoobastank
5.  "In the End" by Linkin' Park
6.  "Down Incognito" by Winger
7.  " Enjoy the silence" by Depeche Mode
8.  " The day I tried to live" by Soundgarden
9.  "Only happy when it rains" by Garbage

This one in particular , is a great one from Dave Pirner:

Soul Asylum's "Misery" :

They say misery loves company
We could start a company and make misery

"Frustrated, incorporated"
Well I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you’d pay to see

Put me out of my misery
I’d do it for you, would you do it for me
We will always be busy making misery

We could build a factory and make misery
We’ll create the cure; we made the disease

"Frustrated, incorporated"
"Frustrated, incorporated"
Well I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you’d pay to feel

Put me out of my misery
All you suicide kings and you drama queens
Forever after happily, making misery

Did you satisfy your greed,
Get what you need
Was it only envy, so empty

Frustrated, incorporated
Frustrated, incorporated

put me out of my misery
I’d do it for you, would you do it for me
forever after happily (forever left in half-belief)
making misery

Moonlighting or what?

Heard an awful lot about moonlighting..but was totally taken aback by this one. Some days back, I read in a local tabloid that a female student of hotel management, from a middle class family was part-timing as a shoe shine girl at Bandra Railway Station. What more, she had no expertise of shining shoes and did nor possess a valid licence to operate off the station platform.

She did this not for a few bucks more or for personifying women's lib but for the sheer thrill of it.And I thought "Out-of -the-box Thinking" was the domian of the esoteric intelligentsia.

Its a different matter that she was forced out of this job by cops as she was "drawing much too attention" and "causing public nuisance".

Return of the Jackal...

Reservation- Noun
"The act of reserving (a place or passage) or engaging the services of (a person or group)".The written record or promise of an arrangement by which accommodations are secured in advance.

Synonymous with:
Insecurities
Doubts
Incertitudes
Dubiousness
Questions
Qualifications
Flip Sides
Arrière pensée

All these thoughts are provoked by the recent statemets of the HRD Minister which portend the return of mediocrity in our Education Institutions, some of which have risen in status into top 10 of the world.
I join many a Indian youth who have come together to raise their voice against the Mandal Redux. Sample this.

What a day

Sunday is supposed to be the rest day for the denizens of the working world. I have a 5-day week so the weekend mood sets in pretty early..Friday afternoon to be precise.The weekend hangover lasts till Monday afternoon or 5 doses of tea from the office-pantry, whichever happens earlier.

While saturdays are demarcated as "home-work" day, Sunday is the true off-day! "Sun" day which is equivalent to "Ravi" war in hindustani probably meant respite from the sun or a day on which you could take a sun-bath and get youself a tan. Either ways one is not supposed to exert energy or extract labour for the human body needs a break from routine.However, all this never applied to the traditional housewife,mind you.(Forming 50% of our population, she works all day, on all days and yet is not considered a part of our GDP simply because its non -remunerative or unquantifyable? How ironic ,for selfless service!)


The point I wanted to make was that I violated this cardinal rule today-a sunday and faced the music. Instead of lazing around in my Ezeechair,I went around the house gathering things to discard, much to the annoyance of "the others" in the house. This is because there is a huge generation gap between us in arriving at what items to weed out. I belong to a generation which believes that nothing is older than yesterday' newspaper while the others believe in "old is gold". We arrived at a certain amount of consensus waste and made the day for our raddiwala. I added more room to my balcony by discarding all the cardboard boxes of 29 ich TV, AC et al the others were diligently trying to preserve.

Overjoyed, I went on a cleaning spree and my hyperactive self soon reached the pinnacle when I accidentally broke my ten year old vacuum cleaner into million pieces ( a.l.a Gimli,the son of Gloin's ax at the fellowship meeting). The others might attribute this to work evasion technique for the weeks to come, but I take it as another junk out of the house! Of course, I had to face the animated animadversion for an hour but did I ever care?



P.s: This post has nothing to do with the others.