Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Typical language usages in Bureaucrazy!!!

You dont need to analyse the finer nuances to understand bureaucratic language usages like these:

When they say ..................................They mean:
Hand overing / take overing of charge...........Handing / taking Over of charge
First all of.....................................................First of all
Defination.....................................................Definition
Many peoples including childrens.................Many people including children
N.A...............................................................Not Available
On Tour.........................................................On Leave
Kindly request your presence........................Request your kind presence
Respected Sir.................................................Hi !
Second only to................................................Bad/Poor
List is not exhaustive......................................Cant name more, Use your imagination
All are invited to come with their families........Don't bring neighbor or their family/ies
Snakes will follow.............................................Snacks will be served
Respond at your earliest.................................We don't care
Inconvenience caused is regretted...................You don't care
Information is correct to our Best of knowledge........Don't know
Customer service......................................................Dream goal
Merit certificate.................................................Every dog had its day
15 Minure recess................................................1 hour break
Meeting...............................................................Chit chat
Committee meeting.............................................Work
Presentation...........................................................Time out
We are fully Computerised.....................................We use wordstar and lotus
Inspection.....................................................................Getaway/Road Trip


Please feel free to add as many as you might've come across!!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know. Studying at a Bureau Crazy Govt Engg college, et al!

Parag said...

funny and very true.. u hear this all the time..
We are like that only

Parag said...

Here are some more Hinglish ones..
An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."


*** This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was
performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."


*** Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."


*** From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."


*** Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not
return, please grant me half day casual leave"


*** An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."


*** A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request
you to leave me today"


*** Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."


*** Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."


*** Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."


*** Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".


*** Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."


*** A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

seattle_smoke said...

Dear PARAG: IM IN SPILTSSSSSSSSSSSS
tummy aches

Het: Parag's is really ribtickling