Face the Musick

Audioslave's Chris Cornell, former frontman of Soundgarden, will record the theme song for the new James Bond film, "Casino Royale," which opens November...

Why??Coudn't the Brocollis find the usual ,mediocre, skin-exhibiting divas from the non-grunge world? Or is Chris Cornell finding alternative avenues for his quivering voice?

Lance Bass, member of the hit boy band N'sync has finally"come out".. He said "I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said [I was gay], it would overpower everything.

Yeah, as such,the non existent N'sync has nothing to lose now that he has comeout with his sexual orientation, as all the females are following Justin Timberlake and his on-off & much older girlfriend Cameron Diaz.

Rolling stones have annouced plans for an extensive FALL tour throughout Canada & US.

Is this is what they call death defying tactics?, 'coz I dont see any of them fall, even after zillion years. BTW, I hear discounts for senior citizens..and special "wheel chair" personally autographed by Keith Richards.

Nicollette Sheridan, actress from Desperate Housewives is working with VH1 to help improve music education in American public schools.

Sheridan, who is currently engaged to singer Michael Bolton, has apaarently realised that this is the only way to save the sad state of american music, after hearing it straight from horse's mouth..

Thats enough food for the dying music fans to digest..

Typical language usages in Bureaucrazy!!!

You dont need to analyse the finer nuances to understand bureaucratic language usages like these:

When they say ..................................They mean:
Hand overing / take overing of charge...........Handing / taking Over of charge
First all of.....................................................First of all
Defination.....................................................Definition
Many peoples including childrens.................Many people including children
N.A...............................................................Not Available
On Tour.........................................................On Leave
Kindly request your presence........................Request your kind presence
Respected Sir.................................................Hi !
Second only to................................................Bad/Poor
List is not exhaustive......................................Cant name more, Use your imagination
All are invited to come with their families........Don't bring neighbor or their family/ies
Snakes will follow.............................................Snacks will be served
Respond at your earliest.................................We don't care
Inconvenience caused is regretted...................You don't care
Information is correct to our Best of knowledge........Don't know
Customer service......................................................Dream goal
Merit certificate.................................................Every dog had its day
15 Minure recess................................................1 hour break
Meeting...............................................................Chit chat
Committee meeting.............................................Work
Presentation...........................................................Time out
We are fully Computerised.....................................We use wordstar and lotus
Inspection.....................................................................Getaway/Road Trip


Please feel free to add as many as you might've come across!!

Say No To Pirates..Review of POTC-II

Horrible, Boring and a Total Waste of 150 minutes of your Life..

Gore Verbinsky should know that not every sequel can meet up to the expectations and standards set by the predecessor. Take Lord of the Rings Trilogy for e.g, or even the banal Terminator series.

Totally counting on digital effects and effaced images of *creatures* from the depths of the ocean, the sequel does not stir anything that could even distantly qualify as amazement. The special attratcion this time around was supposed to be Bill Nighy( Love Actually) playing the damned & tentacled "Captain Davy Jones" . But one felt quite shocked and almost cheated to see some Computer generated Octopus stuck on his face.

Millions of dollars wasted on a missed opportunity.

This movie could get labelled a success only on account of lack of competition or loyal followers of Mr Sparrow's antics.

Say No To PIRATES! Save your Life!

Printer's Devil

I have always criticised "jounalistic activism" by the media. To secure oneupmanship in the burgeoning and cutthroat media market, (struggling) reporters/journalists breach all limits of ethics and conscience to report/publish some *exclusive* piece of news which is often obnoxious or even immaterial to he common man.

Sample this:

The cover page of Mumbai Mirror dated 20th July 2006 carried a huge and crisp photograph of a seemingly happy bridal couple. Aptly titled photofinish, the label below claimed that this was one the rare wedding pictures of "Junaid & Maharukh", children of famous personalities from across the border. This, being published first hand and exclusive after one whole year of secret and high profile event.

Readers could feast their eyes on the lively and smiling couple, but more on the bride bedecked with garlands of the yellow metal. So far so good.

Only today, on the cover page of the same daily the editor issues a "clarification" (in lieu of public apology) stating that the wedding picture was not that of the famous starchildren. Indeed, it belonged to one Mr E*-? from Chennai. While the editor profusely regretted the *embarassment* caused to Mr E*-? for inadvertantly showcasing his bridal wealth, the fact that this picture was blindly lifted by their reliable source( no more!) from some pakistani source was also accepted( sotto voce..)

So much for Oneupmanship, this is cheap and pitiable journalism, by the starchild of India's top newspaper..

Bloggers on the spot?

Why am I not able to see any blogs at *.blogspot.com??
For the past two days, I can log on to blogger, edit and post blogs but cannot view my baby. I hear the same story from fellow bloggers across India. The Help group is flooded with crisis messages from all over India cutting across various ISPs but the problem is still under "trouble shooting" I presume even as I post this blog.

So far, no official statement from blogger or ISPs have been released. Till then, keep your fingers crossed or go for a *proxy*spot.

Hot n Yahoo ...Beta be good

In a landmark deal of its kind, arch rivals Yahoo & Windows(MSN) Messenger have joined hands... The move is aimed to stymie Google's (G-Talk) rapid inroads into IM space.Is that what they call Mail Merge?

For the layperson, this BETA version allows Yahoo and MSN Internet Messenger(IM) users to chat with each other across both networks. This means the users need not have 2 IDs and 2 softwares to chat with users of respective IMs anymore. Together both these IMs would dominate in Indian Web by getting lions share of more than 70%.

"Interoperability between these two IMs will give users the ability to exchange instant messages, see contacts online, file sharing upto 1MB (on Yahoo Messenger), share select emoticons and connect with a global community of friends through one safe and secure IM experience," says George Zacharias, MD of Yahoo India.

Bless you, Competition.
Whats on your mind G?

Sounds of Thunder : Mumbai Blasts 11/7: Eyewitness Account

I've not seen anything "burst" in front of my eyes except for "laxmi bombs" during Diwali . I have'nt heard anything louder than the pre-monsoon thunders. But I was unfortunate to witness both 0f these from a distance of hardly 50 Metres.

I and my colleague could not board the 6.15 pm Borivli fast from Bandra station, as ,due to the delay in the arrival of the train, the crowd had exceeded the capacity of the compartment. We could have chosen to hang by the footboard like we do on several other days, but I can only say that it was "divine intervention" which forbade usfrom doing that this time.

Seconds after the train left Bandra Platform No.4, we heard a deafening noise from the same direction, accompanied by smoke. This was followed by utter chaos with all the passengers running helter-skelter. Bandra is one of the "commercial areas" of mumbai and houses a lot of corporates, software companies , banks and call centers and this being the peak hour for homebound office goers, the timing of this heinous act could not be any more perfect. Many passengers started scrambling towards the train, which now stood halted at a distance, and started to save the injured passengers. Soon people from buildings adjoining the tracks joined in the efforts. It took a good 20 minutes till a strectcher was taken to the spot but all the while it was the fellow citizens who came with open arms for helping the injured. While all the Western railway services were halted, we had no options but to hit the roads. With all the buses overcrowded beyond question, many a rickshawallas/private vehicle owners were reaching out to stranded passengers to drop them at convenient locations. I reached home safely only because of one such kind Mumbaikar.

Mumbai is one of the safest cities for Ladies, ironically, living inMumbai has always meant living on the edge. But I'm sure that like always, resilient spirit of the Mumbai would sail us through troubles times, especially, acts of terrorism. This apart, the investigators should leave no stones unturned in nailing the culprits, thier aides and the abettors to this crime .

MUMBAI MERI JAAN!

Zidane is done

My! Oh! My

The soccer world was aghast to see the repeated replays of the "head butt" incident involving Zizou and Materazzi. Why on earth would a man of Zizou's calibre and composure lose his head over something so incomprehensible and cause a nasty fowl, on such a momentous occasion as this - A WORLD CUP FINAL -His last world cup and international football appearance.

Such an ignominious exit from a glorious and glittering career !

He has still been awarded the "golden ball", but this won't console the hearts of millions of his fans.

Somebody STOP Them !

Rafa Vs Fedex..Redux

It seems like these two are simply unstoppable, their rivalry spanning from court to court! One never bows down and the other never quits!! I was totally wrong in underestimating the power of Spanish matador. Seems like he took my challenge seriously. The leader and the challenger meet face to face for another battle at the Lawns of Wimbledon 2006.

The Swiss plays with watchful(pun intended) precision on all surfaces but the Spaniard's relentless fighting spirit had unnerved every opponent. Rafa has taken it upon himself to shed his cliched image of "King of Clay" by expanding his prowess over the green grass of Wimbledon. He has done it and How?

-By Reaching two Grandslam finals back to back, on two conflicting surfaces, facing The Numero Uno in both, beating him in one and aiming to beat in the other.

In the ATP Men's Rankings, there has always been this huge gap in terms of points and proficiency between the World No.1 and the No.2. But Fedex's "cruises" have met with rough and tough weather from "El Nino" more than once. Hence the gap between the two has narrowed greatly showcasing Tennis at its best. Way to go champions!

Struck a chord!!

Literally!

Today, we folks were confined to the four walls of our humble homes as the rains decided take us one on one. I watched through the window as each drop of rain gathered into a confluence , converting the open stretch of playground adjacent to my home to a makeshift swimmimg pool!

Soon, came the ominous power cut and most parts of the island city got cut off from the civilized world. It seems that the BMC wanted to take no chance on "Short circuits" this time around and promptly ordered the power suppliers to cut the cords! Amidst landslides, open manholes and potholes, they've got thier priorities clear!

We were in the dark for a good 8 hours and 200mms of rain, with nothing to do indoors and hostile outdoors! So I picked up my Accoustic Guitar which was the only thing I could "play" without any power (pun intended). Grunge was the first choice,followed by some punk.

1. Territorial Pissings-Nirvana (Start with A and then with D)
2. Lounge Act-Nirvana( B)
3. On a plain-Nirvana (start with D and tried with E)
4. Heart Shaped Box-Nirvana ( Tried to start with all posible chords,but B sounded the best)
5. Plush-Stone Temple Pilots( E)
6. Here She comes now- Nirvana(A)
7. Sappy- Nirvana(D)
8. Basket Case- Greenday(D and G)
9. I'll stick around- Foo fighters(D and G)
10. Where did you sleep last night- Nirvana (E)

As it always happens,I struck the right chords when I don't have the recording set up . I played these songs over and over again in all sorting orders, as if there was no tomorrow.Probably that is when I struck the wrong chord, and my 1st string gave in. Or probably it was the rains.

Kurt Cobain always signed off his concerts by smashing his guitar(TM) onto the amps/drums. I just broke one string. Luckily, I had an extra set of strings ( rain check?), but didn't have a clue as to fixing it. I called up the Guitar technician to set the chord straight and pat came the reply..." Laws of physics".

I sure can't go back to eighth grade but with some common knowledge on tensity, supported by will and patience, I fixed the new string. By 7.30pm the the power supply resumed and I gave my guitar its well-deserved rest.

I turn on the TV and for once Blitzkrieg vs Azurris was in the prime spot ahead of the banal "Mumbai Rains".

The man who cried Wolf!!

I am talking about all those hyper(active) news anchors and correspondents across the News channels who have gone overboard while reporting on Mumbai Rains since last three days. I've been in this city all my life and we folks are habituated to turn on the news at day break, specially in this season, to know about the latest news on weather, rain and traffic in the city.

I was in for a shrill shock to see these *latest updates* and *breaking news* flasing across the screen:
- all the subways are closed,
- all the trains have been cancelled or running late,
- all the main roads are waterlogged,
- all the highways are congested with traffic,
- very heavy rains forecast for next n no. of days.

These facts are also supported with LIVE *visuals* and *actual interviews* taken from urchins, pavement dwellers and pensioners (who have never had anything good to say about the civic authorities or the Govt). My parents, credulous folks they are, intensely dissuaded me from going to work. But I decided to go ahead and learn it the hard way!

Now Reality Check:
-There was no waterlogging,
-The trains were running and only slightly behind schedule
-I reached my office safely and on time.
-All my colleagues were also on time

While the fact remains that despite the lessons learned from the aftermath of 26/7, our Municipal corporation(BMC) has done nothing that could even remotely qualify as disaster management, these unscruplous TV channels have fully capitalised on the the people's fear psychology and BMC's inefficiency, to broadcast news whose authenticity cannot be verified.

On the way to my office, I was not really suprised to see derelict roads and relatively empty train compartments as many Mumbaikars might have stayed away from venturing outdoors, thanks to *latest news* on TV!!!!!!!!

Conundrum

With the FIFA World Cup Fever and all, this one question has always been bugging me. What country in the world would have a scenario like this:

The National Game : Hockey
The Semi-National Hobby: Football
The National Passion: Cricket

We have'nt exactly "excelled" in any of these sports save for some duration in the gone generation. Well, I am not getting into any argument as to how cricket has always stolen everyelse's sunshine. But what I can understand is that there has been a palpable growth in the average Indian's appreiciation of other sports besides Cricket.

Thanks to multiplying satellite sport channels, now sport event in every nook(ad) and corner of the world gets instant and indepth coverage and all a sports fan needs is a flick of the button to switch from soap operas to sport arena! Now my assistant Mr Shinde (avid sports fan & amateur Sports commentator) discusses Ricky Paanting(sic) and Ranaldu(sic) with equal ease. FIFA worldcup is the talk of the town. He may not follow "offside" or "handball" but can surely understand when the "umpire" hands out pila or laal patta. He went on, drawing some interesting parallels between both these games!

The point Im trying to make is that Aam Aadmi is no more driven by cricket alone. Atleast a quarter of our country's populace can safely be called "manic football fans". And when Preity Zinta's secret football fetish occupies the frontpage of a leading newspaper, another quarter of the populace will blindly join this group! We hear Bengal is virtually dancing to Samba, rooting for Brazil, instead of Mohun Bagan for a change. The rest of India is simply content watching the event on TV or at Big-Screen Bars at best, cheering for countries not known otherwise..

This is the conundrum, the ubiquous Indian, and his conspicuous absence in the football arena.

No Rain

The rains might be playing hide 'n seek with we folks in Mumbai knowing very well that the love-hate relationship between us can never end. We cringe on the onset of the monsoon, but we are fretful until it happens. As the mercury rises to newer heights each day, a dark cloud lurks round the corner playfully strike its "million watts smile' on the very folks..and then vanish into thin air, without shedding a single drop the pristine gem of life. Its always been Too much or Too little with the rains and so far the prospect of the latter appears ominous.

As I post these ramblings about the vagaries of monsoon, I remember one of Blind Melon's greatest songs:

"No Rain"
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin' the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view

But it's not sane, It's not sane

I just want some one to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake

Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made

And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain

And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape

escape......escape......escape......

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
ya don't like my point of view

ya think I'm insane
Its not sane......it's not sane

The Three "R"s

One is very familiar with the Three "R"s governing Education- Reading, Writing and Arithmetic. But today, the term is so popular that virtually every field of knowledge under the sun has its own Three "R"s to catch the attention of the persons pursuing it to its core principles/themes. The Net threw up several such 3R's..some of which may be grossly deficient or at times perfunctory in their functioning as Tenets of their respective disciplines. Some of them are outright funny(!) too.

1. Modern Technology (satire): Railing, Writhing amd Recrimination(!)
2. Youth Protection(against abuse): Recognise, Resist and Report.
3. Conserveration: Reduce, Reuse and Recycle.
4. Against Animal testing: Refine, Reduce and Replace.
5. Parole Re-entry(into community): Risk, Resources and Results(!)

6.Money Management: Review, Revise and Retry(!) ( not good enough for stock market traders)

7.BehaviourManagement: Rules, Rituals and Routines ( is that all?)

8. Collective Bargaining: Raises, Rights and Respect(!) ( note that respect comes last)

9.Capital Budgeting: Resources, Revenue and Rate of Return
10 Drug Addicts recovery: Rehab, Revive and Revitalize

Also came across The Three Rs of Migraine Management, Logistic Consequences,System Dependability.......

Struggling and budding wannabes in various field coin their own Three Rs in thier dissertations/case studies/white papers..to summarize the ocean of knowledge to 3 vital R- words, knowing very well its inutility, except serving as catchy titles for facilitating reader recall ??

So I coin the Three Rs to sum up Life in Mumbai: Rails, Rains and Reels!!!. My soccer crazy neighbour immediately comes up with the Three Rs in the Field of Brazilian Football (pun intended): Ronaldo, Ronaldinho and Roberto Carlos..

With the lights out..

Andheri, Mumbai's well known suburb on the west side, suffers from a more unwestern problem, if I may say so, .."Intermittent Power Outage". While the repetitive threats of the SEB for daily 20% power cuts in the Island city proved hoax, off late, the denizens of this suburb have been hit with sudden, frequent and unwarranted power cuts for intervals ranging anywhere between15 mins and 2 Hrs. This, when the mercury has risen over the roof and the monsoon is yet to vent its full fury..

What, with SoccerWC , cricket and tennis going on on the telly, the sport loving suburbia is simply caught unwares with the lights out !! On several occasions my chat sessions have abrubtly ended, to the dismay of the chatmates!

So much of this and now my shopping list looks like this:
UPS
Battery operated Fan
Emergency Light
Genset
Batteries

Mumbai never needed these even a year ago.

"..With the lights out, Its less dangerous
Here we are now, Entertain us"

from "Smells like teen spirit"
Kurt Cobain

So its the usual: Nadal Vs Fedex

Its not suprising to see the World Number One Roger Federer pitted against the King of of clay Rafael Nadal at the French Open Mens Finals on Sunday, a replay of 2005 Roland Garros Semifinals .

Both are Europeans, but possess entirely different games. Fedex has this aggressive, fast and clinical approach to his game., while Rafa is patience, perseverence and hardwork glorified!Fedex is a thorough allrounder..like Bjorn Borg, while Rafa has conquered all the clay under the sun( literally! breaking records while winning more than 55 matches nonstop!!)

There is no denying of Rafa's impeccable & undisputable record against Fedex on clay, but, over the past few months,Fedex's game seems to have improved greatly, after all the claycourt warmups, especially against Rafa. So we hope this sunday will throw up a thriller of a match for us. Fedex wants this trophy to complete his GrandSlam Collection while Rafa will not want to put an end to his winning streak.

I'm not sure who the French crowd will be rooting for but my vote is for Federer Express!


Game; Set; Match, Roger Federer.

Hey Mr Nadal..Try and beat Fedex at Wimbledon, that is, if you show up..!

Vanishing Act

A fews days back, 6 to be precise, I did a long overdue makeover to my blog. Overdue only because nearly all my peerblogs had undergone one or more. So I googled for a template in tune, with the blogground and the blogger's mind and landed upon this: magic paper, which was the perfect match.

I uploaded the template and my blog bore that magic look! I was even handed over some occasional words of praise from fellow bloggers. But, for the past three days, the template fails to load on uploading my blog. Though Im not a techie, I managed to somehow access the same site , I got this:
"The bandwidth limit for this site has been exceeded"

While the template still exists in my blog setings, it never gets uploaded and my blog presents a pretty plain background.

Can some bright mind decode this esoteric enigma to an exoteric riddle and enlighten the dim witted?

Also want a web tool to ward off evil eyes...

PS: HELP!!

Wednesday Wash Out!!

Sights like these are not uncommon to Mumbaikars, specially after 26-7 deluge of last year. Since last evening Mumbai is under a cloud ...experiencing its first monsoon showers of the season ( or was it premonsoon?)which was actually scheduled to hit us from June 1, as per the local weathermen ( like we believed them).

While Mumbaikars always rejoiced the first showers, it did'nt appear to bring any such feeling this time around, what with just 2 hours of rain, all the main roads, junctions & subways were under several feet of water! It took over 2 hours for me to reach home from work today, for what is normally a Half hour travail. All this, on the first day of monsoon. Heavy rains Plus high tide always meant bad news for us.

While the BMC commisioner went on with is pre-monsoon manifestoes as usual..." We are 100% prepared" " All the drains have been desilted"...'All the roads have been repaired" blah blah .., it was the same old news for the average commuter..Our Police Commisioner went a step ahead, on the hitech mode, sending weather forecast sms to all the hassled denizens !Like they really care. Why ? Has he been given a lateral transfer to the MET Dept? Can't he send traffic updates instead? Bunch of Jokers everywhere.

It has been raining for the last 6 hours non-stop .So I turn on the TV to watch the news (hazy but audible s it happens during the rains) only to hear every reporter & commuter repeat my lamentations..

Dont want deluge, not even a de ja vu!

What 'ism" is this?

We want to liberalise Indian economy ...and globalise it, when we can't liberate the Indian psychology from this age old "ism" that has dogged our society for centuries and even governs our polity. What else should we call this threat of reservationism that portends nothing but doom to our quest for scientific & technological wizardry in the new world??

Why are medical students and resident doctors striking for days? Why should they bother when they have already got their seats? Why is every IITian joining hands with these protestors who call themself "Youth for equality"? It is because they care for the future of the country which they are going to represent in thier professional capacity.

Youth for Equality is an initiative by Medical and other professional students in India who feel strongly against populist measures which can be wrong, unjust and harmful for India's future.

Their plea for "implementing Universal Free education" and "concession/quota for the economically backward" have fallen on deaf ears of the politicians. Not surprising that most of the Medical/Engg/MBA colleges are run by politicians!

If the government wishes to allocate quotas based on one's caste certificate in speciality disciplines such as medicine and other advances sciences, will such a fact be in mentioned prominentlyin the degree certificate ? For , the prospective user of such services might demand a "right to information" and further the usage of caste in certificate!, which cannot be ruled out or ruled as wrong!!

Populist measures are always welcome, insofaras they don't harm the cultural ethos. Caste based reservation without addressing issues like child labour, free education upto highshool, malnutrition, is an utter FARCE and EYEWASH.

Even as the Hon Supreme Court ordered these protesters today to call off the strike or face contempt charges, the movement only seems to have gathered further momentum. These are testing times for the Indian youth. Every concerned citizen of this country should come forward and voice thier opinion for "Equality through education" and against "Lack of quality through reservation" .

The DVC-Why you should not drool over the movie?

If you have read the book and were awaiting the movie ...and watched it, you can't afford to simply drool over it, for:

1. If you were blown away by Paul Bettany's mindblowing potrayal of "Silas" you may be called a psychopath..

2.If you g0t carried away by the candid, simple & non-saucy performance by Tom Hanks, you'll be called a sycopant.

3.If you were impressed by Sir Ian Mckellen's excellent potrayal of the cagey villain, you will be told that you are suffering from a LOTR hangover..

4. If you felt Jean Reno was the right choice for Bezu Fache, you may be a called a Opus Dei sympathiser..

5.If you were mesmerised by the fantastic locations(real) and the eerie ecclesiastic backdrops, you might be even called a sciolistic artlover..

6. If you loved the movie, you will probably be branded as the anti-christ..

So I choose to keep my views to myself, in secrecy, lest I should be called any of the above. But ,I guess it has already been decoded !